We’ve seen thousands of answers flow through Ohh. Not the content (your conversations are private) but the patterns. And the patterns are fascinating.
It turns out that how someone answers a question tells you almost as much as what they say. The length, the speed, the deflections, the honesty — each reveals something about how that person relates to vulnerability, to others, and to themselves.
Here’s what we’ve noticed — backed by some psychology, flavoured with what we’ve observed building an app about honest conversations.
The response styles
The deep-diver
They write paragraphs. They go further than the question asks. They treat every prompt like a journal entry. Ask them “what’s something you’ve changed your mind about?” and they’ll give you a three-act narrative.
What it reveals: Deep-divers tend to be high in openness and introspection. They’ve likely been thinking about these things already — they just needed someone to ask. They process by writing, and the question gives them permission to explore.
What they need from you: Read the whole thing. Respond to specifics, not just the surface. They went deep for a reason — honour that.
The deflector
They turn every question into a joke. Ask them “what are you most afraid of?” and they’ll say “spiders lol.” Funny? Yes. Honest? Not yet.
What it reveals: Humour is the most socially acceptable defence mechanism. Deflectors aren’t shallow — they’re cautious. They’re testing whether the space is safe enough for honesty. The joke is the audition. If you laugh and move on, they know to keep the walls up. If you gently press — “okay but really, what scares you?” — you might get something extraordinary.
What they need from you: Patience, and a signal that honesty is welcome. Answer the same question yourself with genuine vulnerability first. Show them the depth is safe.
The mirror
Their answers always match yours in length, tone, and depth. If you write two sentences, they write two. If you go deep, they go deep. If you keep it light, they follow.
What it reveals: Mirrors are high in social awareness and empathy. They calibrate constantly, matching the energy of whoever they’re talking to. This makes them excellent friends — but it also means they rarely set the depth themselves. They need someone else to go first.
What they need from you: Go first. And go deeper than you normally would. They’ll match you — and you’ll both end up somewhere interesting.
The philosopher
Ask them about their weekend and they’ll somehow end up discussing the nature of time. Every answer becomes a thought experiment. They don’t just answer the question — they interrogate it.
What it reveals: Philosophers are comfortable in abstraction but sometimes use it to avoid the personal. Talking about “vulnerability in general” is safer than being vulnerable specifically. The ideas are genuine — but the real gold comes when you bring it back to them: “okay, but what does that mean for you?”
What they need from you: Engage with the ideas, then redirect to the personal. They want both — they just need a nudge toward the second part.
The one-liner
Short. Direct. Sometimes devastatingly honest in five words. Ask them about their biggest fear and they’ll say “being just like my dad.” No elaboration. No context. Just truth, dropped like a stone.
What it reveals: One-liners are often the most honest responders. They don’t cushion, explain, or justify. They say the thing and let it land. This can feel abrupt, but it’s actually a sign of high trust — they respect you enough to be direct.
What they need from you: Don’t rush past it. A five-word answer that’s genuinely honest deserves more attention than a three-paragraph performance. Ask a follow-up. Let them expand if they want to.
What your question choices reveal
It’s not just answers. The questions people choose to send are revealing too.
People who always pick light decks are often testing the water. They want depth but they’re building trust first. Don’t judge the journey — Icebreakers today, Deep Dive next month.
People who go straight for the deep decks are either very comfortable with vulnerability or very hungry for it. Either way, match their energy. They chose that question for a reason.
People who ask the same question to multiple friends are looking for patterns. They want to see how different people answer the same prompt. This is a sign of genuine curiosity about the people in their life.
The answer-first mechanic matters here too. When someone sends you a Spark, they’ve already revealed something about themselves. Their question choice and their answer together are an invitation. The way you respond determines whether the conversation deepens or deflects.
The real takeaway
There’s no right way to answer a question. Deep-divers and one-liners are equally valid. Deflectors and philosophers are both finding their way to honesty through different doors.
The only wrong answer is the one you edit to sound better than you feel. The point of a conversation card isn’t to perform — it’s to reveal. Whatever comes out first is probably the truest thing.
Next time you answer a question in Ohh, notice your instinct. What do you write first? What do you delete? What do you wish you could say?
Say that.